Tough Mudder 2013 (4 of 4)

IMG_1520_zpsc0ce6273i was a mess. thankfully they had a propane heater in the medical tent and i plopped down in front of it. i was soaked and cold. they were feeding bananas and warm salt water into me as fast as i could take it. i don’t want to see another banana for a long time.

there’s a lot more to write about the next part, but i won’t. net: i couldn’t be transported anywhere without cramping. odd thing…i wasn’t tired from the 12 miles. i’m not really tired today. but the cramps were terrible. they tried to put me into carts but i couldn’t get into the seat. ever have your abs cramp?  i hadn’t.
finally they find a bigger cart and they let me lie down on my back in the flatbed with my legs sticking out while they drive toward the drop point. dan comes to meet us in the Pilot and they transfer me. Medics were fun..they had a good sense of humor after they decided i wasn’t going to die.  ‘hey jon when are you going to get your ass out of here??’
we tried a couple of things, but in the end i had to lie down on my back in the back of the suv. and i couldn’t get in by myself. i had to kind of go like a board and the kids would push me in like a cadaver. we had to stop every half hour or so when i started screaming. sara, dan and alex would pull me out, stand me up, look uncomfortable while i grabbed the luggage rack on the top of the car and screamed for awhile longer. then it would pass and they’d push me back into the back. we were dying laughing, hoping nobody would see us and report the kids as murderers trying to dispose of a body.
we got home somewhere between 9 and 10. had a scotch to celebrate, and then i tried to get a little cleaned up.
didn’t get the duct tape off my toes until the next afternoon when i could finally reach them.
so, when do you want to do your Tough Mudder???? Don’t bother to invite me.
(p.s. thanks to sara, dan, and some other spectators who took lots of great video and pics of the adventure. they were at every obstacle cheering us on. and teammates…you rock!)

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